I feel weak

But I feel stronger by the clock.

Our bodies must have an end and we measure time by how long it takes us to get to this end.

The years are measured by counting the beginning and end of each season, brought to us by the earth’s translation around the Sun. We, then, measure one season of heat, one season of rain, one season of snow and one season of flowers. The months, then, divide the seasons in about three parts. The days, measured by half moon and half sun, make a week after seven of them have passed. After four of those weeks, we have a month.

As you can see, we approach the measure of time by many different angles, but does time have different meanings?

Many winters come and go in a lifetime. It takes our trees away and then give us the most beautiful flowers, almost as if in a egoist whim. The winter also makes it easier for the new plants, still small on the ground, to absorb the sunlight once the bigger ones have lost their leaves. I have seen it happen, time after time, for quite a while now, and it has changed my perception of time. A day may pass me by and I can still be asleep, or have not slept at all. That is all because I’ve had a lot of days and most of them changed nothing about me, they did not mark and special changes or growth in me, so I don’t mind keeping each of them in mind. They have become a dull and normal thing. Many of our kin lives up to a hundred of those winters, so how much significance exactly does a day have to us?

Yet, think of a fly. Their short lives can’t appreciate both winter and spring. Our hours are their years. We cannot understand things which are precious to them. They cannot understand things which are precious to us. They cannot understand the desires, the excruciating longing and the pleasure that comes with the fulfillment of those. All they know is to recreate themselves, and they need no more than a day to do it. Their lives is pointless. Or, at least, that’s how you and I used to think.

Think, then, of the gods and wights. A tree’s spirit has been there for 500 years before you were born and will be there for another 500 after you’re long gone. The comet you see once in your life, they shall see twenty times. This as well as all the animals we have never seen, all the stories we have only heard of, the flowers, the snow flakes and rains we only read about, the greatest love and hatred; this tree was there to see it all, time after time, until it became boring, small and pointless. We see her as unique, but we’re all the same for her.

If the spirit of a tree loved a human, it would be the same as a human loving a bug. We would meet in a day, at midnight, and when we got close to midnight again, our beloved one would be gone. Can you imagine the pain? Sleeping for eight hours and find them dead or that they have grown old because 1/3 of their lived has already passed? When winter came and the spirit of that tree fell into slumber, what could happen to its beloved human? Starve, freeze, get killed by any sort of thing unimaginable to the long-living spirit of that tree. This loss would be the same of the human who loved the bug, only we never think of ourselves as the less significant ones, we never consider that maybe the universe does not revolve around us. That is what we are: both big and small. Giant and long-lived for a bug, tiny and fleeting for a tree.

Forget not, though, how much a tree needs bugs and provide them at the same time;

Forget not that a hen’s life is small, but it’s her life that feeds yours;

Forget not that when you die, you will fertilize the soil you have taken from, eaten by the same bugs you have seen grow and die, judging insignificant;

Forget not that this soil you fertilize will bring the spring of many other people, who will see life just as you one day did.

Everything has a beginning and an end, but the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning, the snake eating its tail. From that beginning to the end, we’re all living out of each others. Animals eat plants, animals eat animals and plants are fertilized from those animals.

This is how time works. One tree will feed many bugs and humans and many bugs and humans will feed a tree.


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