I’m sorry

This is a personal blog, but I have been trying to make it into something useful.
The problem is, right now, I am facing a deep problem with depression.
Yes, I do know what depression means. It means that for over an year now I avoid social interaction, I feel way too tired, I have constant thoughts of suicide, I can’t bond with people (nor can I trust or love them truly) and I can’t deal with my feelings. I repel every person I love and regret every action I take.
This blog was supposed to be a sort of escape to me, but now it’s not anymore. Nothing ever really is. It has no cure and no completely functional treatment. It’s stuck with me forever.
I beg the pardon of those who cared to follow me and even guided some people here because of the content I posted.
I would like to thank you all, dearly, for your attention.
Now I must ask for your comprehension. It’s not being easy on me.
It could take a day, a month, a year or I could never come back.
See you.

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5 comments

  1. Greetings! I just wished to express my opinion regarding depression. I can relate to your feelings since I too suffer from agoraphobia/ depression. It reached a point where I was afraid to walk down the street for fear that people were looking at me. I realized deep down that these feelings were based not in reality, but in my tattered state, it felt very real. For 20 years I was an alcoholic, which I think had much to do with my present situation, but I am now 15 years sober. I realize that some people are very much against using medication to “cure” these feelings, but having went off my medication for some time and suffering through feelings of guilt, worthlessness and sometimes wishing I were dead, it’s obvious to me that I am someone who does in fact benefit from it. I am now able to interact with people, my mind is uncluttered by fear and doubt, and I feel whole again. I sincerely hope that you at least consider seeking some type of help, because as bleak and unforgiving life may seem at the moment, you really do have options. Don’t give in, don’t give up. I wish I could somehow help, since I know that this can be conquered. I sincerely wish you the best– you know this is not your fault– please at least consider your options. There is help available. I feel helpless writing this, since these are merely words on a computer screen, but it’s all I can do. You can survive this. Really. So, once again, don’t do anything in haste– consider all options. With complete sincerity….Daniel C. Reiter

  2. Do not feel guilty for what others do to you
    or for what they have done to you as a child.

    Just become what is comfortable for you to become now
    and improve as you feel the need.

    I would like to read some more of your words.

  3. You perfectly articulated what it means to be depressed here. I’ve been there, and still am to an extent. It has been a constant battle over the years. Things seem to be a bit better in general lately, but still have my bad days.

    Anyway, I hope things are better for you.

    1. I came to a point where you don’t really see things the way you did. If you just take your instincts and let them change you bit by bit, you don’t feel bad anymore. I got stronger. I’m not saying I’m ok and all is fine and dandy, but I can stand more and more of it.

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