family

Partners & Children

I have recently become aware of the fact that carrying on your legacy is not something that easy. It’s technically just going somewhere with people who think like you and BAM! You can marry and have children, except… No. We usually overlook a huge amount of factors because we tend to think practically when we have ideals, like it’s a war field and you have to simply move your soldiers. We’re not dealing with the fact that each and every person is a different one and it’s the small stuff that makes us who we are. I mean, it’s great we’re following the same ideals, but who are you, the real you, when no one is looking? How do you organize your bathroom, do you fold your bedsheets? Do you even use sheets or just the blanket? Wake up early? Like working hard or finding easy ways to accomplish tasks?

You may think that’s something bad, but really pals, I’m being optimistic here. This scenario is already set within the pre-condition that you actually manage to FIND someone that falls under your generally “wanted” profile. Which is not easy. Not at all.

Contemplate this: Suppose there is a group of about some hundred thousand individuals who do share some ideas regarding their ancestry. You now scatter them around the globe. Not so big a piece of the globe, but it reaches from Europe to Oceania. Say you’ll get to know a few dozens of those. Will maybe be able to befriend about 10 of the opposite sex. You take all the time to know everything about each one of them, because this is serious, you don’t want to just throw your lineage somewhere and be done with it, do you? No, you’re taking this serious, as deep as it gets. It’s almost like you’re signing a contract that says this person has to do the best of them, just like you.

It’s completely understandable that by working as hard as we do to get ourselves good enough to honor all the stuff we talk about, we want someone just as fit, so you really have got to go on with this pressure. We’re dying and we don’t have time to put little shits on this planets who will end shaming our forefathers. But, maybe, we end up not really having time to have… Fun?

I am not saying we should have fun in the modern concept of fun, as in going around doing useless shit that leads us nowhere. In fact, what got me thinking about all of this is that I recently missed a heart-to-heart talk. Just sitting down and sharing all your crazy thoughts, stuff that makes you feel a weirdo, stuff you’re not particularly proud of but also don’t want to be harshly judged for by others (as you might already be judging yourself enough) and stuff you ARE proud of, but can’t talk to regular people about because, you know, it’s our stuff.

Fun is something deeper, it’s being in the middle of nowhere, with nothing really good or distractive and yet you find yourself not wanting to ever leave that place. This feeling is familiar to us because it is closely linked to love. When in love, you also find yourself in this situation. No matter what you are, that one person makes it the place you want to be.

This all feels really teenager and that is exactly how it is supposed to feel. I wouldn’t like to spend the rest of my life with someone who didn’t make me laugh. I wouldn’t want my children to spend a day with that cold feeling in their house, like joy is a distant word that has forgotten that place. They should laugh and feel it’s normal to see their parents going lovey-dovey because that’s just how life goes. A man and a woman find each other and have fun and kids.

I truly believe that once we manage to get rid of the marvelous gift of degeneration the past generation left us, finding someone will be easy. You don’t have to go out and hope to find a man who isn’t weaker than you (in all senses) or a woman who, well, is just like the average we have today. Once we get rid of this, it will just be normal that men are strong and reasonable and women are respectful and intelligent. Just like it has always been with our forefathers.

I hope all of this can actually come true and what I read about how miserable the world is now can be changed by a small fraction.

Falling in the Mainstream

So, as a modern girl, I obviously do search (more like stalk, because I don’t make contact with anyone) communities. Nowadays, we have a lot of communities pointed towards traditionalism and paganism. Which should be good. Well, at least, it should.

The problem with falling in the mainstream is not that we want to be “underground” or “hipsters” or whatever word you use for those retards who want to be thought of as “cool“. The problem here is that we are dealing with ideas and ideals, which have a reputation depending on its participants.

No matter how much you say “oh, but just a few of them are dumb, the true Traditionalists…” and proceed to the True Scots fallacy. If lower people adhere to a movement, the movement itself becomes lower. This is all the reason why I think we should allow our names just anywhere. Once those idiots think they know something about anything, they will start talking about it and pretending they are actually engaged to it. For us, who really do have our whole minds and hearts taken into Traditionalism, it’s easy to spot one of those; but for anyone else outside of it, it will make the WHOLE of us look ill.

There must be plenty of Muslims out there with good intentions. Does knowing this make you feel less tense when there is one of them on a plane? No, it does not. Now you just compare how many of them are out there and how many of them are actual terrorists.

Then, there is the selection part. Even if –and I said IF– those people don’t manage to ruin our outside image, they will still try to enter the inner layers of the cause, the intellectual circle and the active circle. At that moment, two things can happen: a. They manage to start learning something; b. They do not learn anything and keep being ignorant, which will lead to them being expelled from any kinds of groups related to Traditionalism and later attempts to “revenge”.

What made me realize that was the huge amounts of supposed “fan groups” dedicated to Varg Vikernes. Thank Wotan I got to know about Varg, Marie and their thoughts before that, because otherwise I would think Varg was a church-burning crazy bag –and not one of the intelligent ones.
Can you see how it can have a bad effect? Varg is brilliant in his teachings, but the wrong people spreading his name and even his image can get twisted.

I do believe it is necessary that some people get exposed out there to act as mentors and propaganda to instigate people, make them read, make them learn. We can’t filter who sees us and what they will see us as, but we can try to filter our image out there.

Make sure to undo any misconceptions you see about us ANYWHERE. I don’t mean just the internet. I mean your family, your friends and anyone surrounding you. Show a good argument and they won’t be able to resist repeating your intelligent and remarkable words as their opinion when some misconception about us comes up near them.

People mirror attitudes they think of as strong and intelligent. Show yourself as a well-organized person and have a good posture when you talk. This is the basics for anyone who ever thinks of taking up on any political ideals.

Remember: You take care of your soul, body and mind. All three of them.

HailaR Freyja

About me

Well, I am feeling really bad and I think expressing it to other people who might be going or have gone through it can make me feel better.

Here is the deal: I have a lot of family problems. I believe everyone thinks that’s just the normal stuff for a 19 year-old girl, right? I would think that too, but in my case, things go a little bit deeper than they should. The only family I have are my two brothers, my mother and my aunt and cousins (who live in another continent). The thing is, my older brother had a son when he was 20 and had to go to another country to work with his wife because they had nothing, no job, no responsibility, no money and no home –nothing to care for a child. That was about the same time when I was born, with one year of difference. My father was a drunk bag of retard by then, and he didn’t want me, so he left my mom. What happened was that my brothers and my mother worked together to raise me and my nephew. My brother told my mom to stop working so she could take care of me, and so she did. A little while after, my brother’s mother-in-law (my nephew’s grandmother) asked to take him with her and raise him, so it was only me and my mom.

Things went ok just like that, with my brothers working, the elder with his wife in another country, coming for visits every two or three years. Until I was 6. That’s when my mom and my brothers bought another house together, so my mom and I moved to this new house. My mom always used to drink, but when we moved it was getting worse.

On the second year of living in that house, my mom became a heavy drinker and everything went down a hole. We moved to more times and got where we are right now. This completely messed me up when I was a teenager, constantly losing everyone made me unable to deeply bond to people or really care for them –something I’m working on until this very day. I mistrust people, I’ve had several problems with depression, anxiety and nervous breakdowns and the only thing that made this better was my deep faith in Wotan, Frigga and Freya, who gave me strength to fight and be able to care for my mom alone since I was 6. Several times, I had to bathe her and put her to bed. Several times she left and I didn’t know if she would ever come back.

It was also about when I was 6 that my brothers started getting weird towards me. They were rude, they treated me in such a cruel manner I could not explain. They did that from my 6 to my seventeens. One day, the middle brother (the one who stayed here with no kids) simply stopped doing that and started talking to me. I can’t explain how great that felt for me.

This year, my brother came back from that other country. He always treat me poorly, he always says I’m a slut even though he knows I’m going out with my girlfriends and come back with their mothers by car. I have to deal with that, otherwise I’ll be kicked out of the house, and then where will I go? How will I live? I have no one but my brothers and my aunt who is in another country. I have no father and my grandmother died before I was born. There is no one to care for me. Knowing that, you’ll understand the next part and why I’m so terrified that I can’t even stop crying or leave this room anymore.

Yesterday, I was telling my mother not to leave the bathroom with too much hair because it was clogging the drain, that was in the morning, just before I went to work. I left. I worked the whole day. I got home by 22 P.M. and I just wanted to eat and go to sleep. So my brother (who spends the whole day eating, smoking, drinking and dirtying the entire fucking house like a dumbass pig in a farm) comes up to me and start telling me how I was an idiot for saying that, because I was “prissy” for saying that the fucking drains were getting clogged. So here is what: he is now a 40 year-old man, who accomplished nothing in his life even though he worked 20 years getting about 10-15 thousand a month and spent it all on useless shit who has now a balding head and still uses long hair. He thought I was saying that (about the drains) for him. He screamed at me until I had a breakdown and locked myself up in the bathroom and cried for 4 hours straight.

I don’t do drugs, the maximum I drink is beer and wine, I am no “slut”, as he claims me to be and I completed a course while finishing high school and now I work almost every day with one day off for every 6 of work. I can fluently speak two languages, I am in the middle of the third and in the basics of a fourth. I work hard so I can achieve my dream of going back to Europe with my own effort. I dream of having children so I can show them a world I didn’t see and they will show me a love I’ve never felt. But every time this happens, I feel like family means nothing at all. How can this exist? How can someone have your own blood and be such a piece of human garbage?

I just really needed to get this off my chest. Feeling better already. 🙂

Being a Woman

Let us discuss the Christian view of a woman: the useless, the meaningless, the being that is worth no more than a horse. What living human on earth could possibly be fine with that? With knowing that the ones who suffer most with wars are women and horses? With knowing that being sexually abused is considered our fault, because we dress provocatively, walk provocatively or even have provocative eyes -things men use to blame us for their uncontrollable corruptness.

These men I talk about are, of course, the men who follow Abrahamic religions. The man who trades women like coins, who uses them as sex slaves, who sees them as good for no more than bearing his male children, who carry his name. This man sees honour only in himself, not in his family. His family is meant to bow for him. The women have to obey him no matter what, because that’s what they’re born for. His male children must carry on his legacy, growing up to know women mean less than men.

 

There is, though, another type of man: the pagan man. The pagan man believed the world was both a man and a woman. He believed the world was a balance, a family of deities, each carrying their own tasks, tasks only they could fulfill. There were the female deities. Deities that represented not only fertility or motherhood, but bravery and fight. Deities that were not only behind male deities, but stood beside them. Deities that gave them wisdom, council and could foresee their future. These female deities represented everything women meant to men. Everything a woman personificates to a man was in those female deities. The strength, the tenderness, the care and the struggle.

 

 

Brunhilde and Siegfried

Brunhilde and Siegfried

 

In pagan societies, men were also the ones to deal with the army and fighting, whereas women could not enter it most of the time. The reason for this is different from the Abrahamic one. Supposing all men die in war or hunting, who is going to lead the tribe on? Who can deal with the small children, can find food with less risks and knows about medicinal plants? Women could. A man can fertilize many women, but a woman can only have one child every nine months, and to every child she has to take about a year of care before she can safely give birth again. Who is more valuable, from the tribe’s point of view? Women were. This did not mean women were always forbidden to enter the army or going hunting, but this was an exception, for most women knew they had to save themselves for a greater good. They knew how to fight and hunt, because they were taught to, but they had another task only they could accomplish.

Today it is hard to differ a woman from a man, but this is because our women forgot who they are. They are not the Abrahamic slave. They are the pagan warrior. The ones who could gently care a child and bravely hold a sword. I have struggled with this for many years too, but now I remembered. I don’t need to choose between being strong or being a woman. I have to be strong in order to call myself a woman. I know my place and that does not mean I am submissive, that means I am irreplaceable.

Being a European Descendant

For all of my life, I have been influenced by the European traditions in my family. Since I’m 1/4 German and 2/4 Italian and 1/4 Austrian, the biggest influence is the Italian one. I have spent my childhood learning about family, tradition and I have been taught what the role of the man is. From my German and Austrian lineage, the strongest traits I have are the tough ways of two of my grandparents (being that my grandmother by my mother’s side was Austrian and my grandfather by my father’s side was German) which were very hard-working and focused people. They were very diligent about working and hated losing time they could spend advancing work. From the Italian side (the majority) I have got the handcrafting, the cooking and the herb using, as well as a lot of life concepts too.

Now, both these sides suffered horrors when they left Europe. They were promised a temporary work, and if they worked hard enough here, they would be sent back to Europe, receiving lands to live off of. However, once they got here, they realized they were fooled. Their names were registered wrong, they didn’t speak the language, the people who lived here didn’t like their “racial background” and they barely had where to live. The men had to work as slaves. Real slaves. They got beaten and had almost no salary at all. No one cared for them. Their families had to deal with near starving conditions of poverty. That’s something real, something from my family. My mother had hard times as a child and saw her family go through serious periods of hunger.

I don’t have anything like that, because my family worked so hard they almost died (my grandfather actually died from pushing himself too hard). All I can have for them is gratitude, admiration and eternal love. They had to deal with so much emotional suffering. They were taken from their land, fooled, they lost contact with those who stayed, missing them day after day, not knowing of their parents and brothers. How much more did they have to suffer so people would stop saying that being white is being “automatically privileged“?

My family kept in a closed lineage, marrying mostly other Italians and Germans. There is even the story of a great aunt who married a Portuguese man and was expelled from the family. Yet, I am not in Europe -or, at least, not yet. I am so closely related to Europe in terms of blood that I have the right to a dual citizenship, which can bring me back there. I have many fears related to it. I am scared of failing. I am scared of not belonging here nor there. Maybe I don’t fit anywhere. Maybe the Europeans who love Europe as I do are gone. Even if that is the case, the only way of finding out is going back. My heart will never ease if I don’t go back to my roots. My pain has no other relief. We are bound to blood and soil and nothing can change that. Nothing will ever change me.